My Favourite Dark Elf

Let me tell you about one of my favourite heroes (in fiction, that is).

Drizzt Do'Urden is a character created by the author Robert A. Salvatore. Drizzt is a Dark Elf - people whose society had a code very different from ours. They worshiped a Goddess who loved schemes, deceit and chaos. Their city was composed of several noble Houses, who held power according to their standing in the eyes of their Goddess. There were several routes to power, both for an individual and for a House; the trick is to obliterate those above you without anyone being able to pin it on you. If you were in a battle and you managed to stab your elder brother without anyone noticing, and blame it on the enemies, you earned his position by right even if people suspected what you did. The more complicated the plan to make a House lose face, or lose people, or other assets, without it being traceable to you, the more you and your House were appreciated for it. It was a society whose rules and morals we cannot identify with. The ruthlessness of this race gained them almost universal hatred from the "surface races", for these people lived in underground cities. Drizzt was born into such a society.

It is said that a child inculcates the morals that society imparts to him, and that people are not born with a sense of right and wrong. But that did not apply to Drizzt. Right from when he was a child, he knew something was badly wrong with everything. His soul could not abide the viciousness he was surrounded by. So he left. He abandoned everything he knew and left for the surface world, where he would constantly be judged and feared by the colour of his skin that identified his race. But Drizzt was an innately good person and always helped people, and that won him some friends. A precious few friends, but that was enough. The sense of belonging comes from being in a place where you have friends.

It is hard for me to explain the full relevance of the story here, but I hoped you liked it anyway, and just keep that last line in mind.

Now, what if I told you that I still do not feel like I belong here, I have no people in this town that I can consider as a close friend in spite of being here for two years? Is it right to abandon everything and leave just because you don't have friends? Shouldn't one have a sense of professional duty and courtesy, finish what you started, don't leave when there are people depending on you? I've tried to be happy here but I know now that I failed. There were other reasons for me being unhappy before, so I came back here after my illness to give it another try. But it still hasn't worked. Is it okay to be selfish, and leave?

Does every man truly have the right to the pursuit of happiness? What about duty and responsibility? You can't have rights without responsibilities, said my Civics teacher. How do you resolve the conflict then?

A very confused
Prashanth.

Oranges and Hot Chocolate

Earlier this week, I was at work and asked one of my friends if she had a snack (I only keep boring trail mix bars in my desk), and she handed me an orange. I thanked her but stood and stared at the orange. "What?" she asked. "I've never peeled an orange before. I don't know how," I replied.

I have a car and my friends at the lab don't, and I've been awfully nice about lending chauffeur services so I didn't get any snide remarks about spoilt brats at that time, and she simply loosened the skin and peeled a bit of the orange to start me off and handed the orange back to me. But I couldn't help thinking, "Oh My God. My Mom or Grandmom always peeled my oranges. That's how spoilt I am."

I guess there is so much we take for granted about living with family that the realities of living alone hit us slowly, one by one by one, and keep going. Whether it is about handling complex financial issues or just peeling an orange, life is a constant learning experience.

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Are you one of those people who say, "Hot chocolate is for wusses. Have coffee in the daytime, alcohol in the nighttime. And make that black coffee and hard alcohol."

If you are, then you've never had hot chocolate at the Original Waffle Shop. I wish I had a photograph to show you, but I'll have to make do with words. A decent-sized cup of rich hot chocolate, topped by a spiral tower of whipped cream nearly as high as the cup itself, sprinkled with chocolate chips. Sinful! The whipped cream melts into the hot chocolate if you wait and watch. Or you can preempt it and take spoonfuls of cream and hot chocolate to start your meal. By the time I finished the cup I was so full I only managed to have half my actual meal, and took the rest to go!

And oh yes, they gave me a slice of orange with my meal. Fortunately I didn't have to peel it.

Cheers,
Prashanth.

Being in control

Do you do a periodic mental "check" of how you are doing in life?

I realized something this week. I feel more at ease with my situation because I am in control of my life now. Aside from the usual insecurities about research work, publication and graduation that all PhD students have, I feel confident that things are going the right way. A huge contrast from how things have been this past year.

Even if the circumstances are adverse, I do not feel worried as long as I am in control and have no external pressures. It follows then that I should take decisions in life in such a way as to keep my independence. That line of thought leads down some difficult roads, which I fortunately do not have to worry about for a while.

This would normally be the point where I would say "In other news, ..." but there really is no other news. I needed some stability, now I got it. So it is time to make good things happen.

Cheers
Prashanth.

Book Tag, Again

I was tagged by Jyo ages ago, and finally found the time to do it!

Total Number of Books Owned:
If they are few enough that you can count them, you are not a book lover!!

Last Book Bought:
Legend by David Gemmell
If you are a fan of battles like the one at Helm's Deep in Lord of the Rings, you'll love this book.

Last Book Read:
Feast of Souls by C.S. Friedman
A decent fantasy book, but not good enough for me to actually recommend to someone. Perhaps I have been spoiled by Steven Erikson: if an important character dies, it must be in an utmost heroic, ironic, epic fashion!

Five Books that mean a lot to you:
1. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
I like the concept of Objectivism. I'm not one of those Rand-fanatics though; I don't go around spreading objectivist philosophy; I simply find the concept interesting enough that it made me think. The fact that this book made me have philosophical discussions in my head puts it in this list.

2. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Most writers dream of being able to make their readers put themselves in the shoes of the character, to look through their eyes, to think and feel like them. Salinger achieves this, in a way that I am yet to see duplicated. On top of that, this book will make you feel ashamed of the little hypocrite in you, in all of us. Rare. A gem of a book.

3. Foundation by Isaac Asimov
The classic science fiction novel! When you say SciFi what pictures does the word conjure up in your head? Non-Scifi people think about Star Trek and such. But the real Scifi fan thinks about Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein... its not spaceships and lasers and robots that make the Scifi story, it is the setting, the possibilities in writing stories when you are not fettered by the sad truths and realities in the world.

4. Magician by Raymond Feist
What I just said for Scifi goes for Fantasy too. And the fantasy book that did it for me was not Lord of the Rings but Magician. This is the book that started it all for me, got me into the fantasy genre, made me want to write fantasy stories, everything. A great read, a balanced book, a great storyteller.

Well, four will have to do for now.

Cheers
Prashanth.