No Fear!

As a kid I was a shy and introverted chap.

A very short and simple statement to make, one which you would read and say, "Oh! Okay. Guess he's changed a bit now," and go on with your life.

If only the implications of that statement were that simple! I was always the quiet kid in the corner. When we had free time, I would read a book or write something instead of screaming at the top of my lungs like all other normal kids. I couldn't talk to teachers or elders in general without stammering. I hardly spoke to cousins. I never spoke to girls.

But most of all, I had this acute case of stage fright. So much so that my class teacher in third grade let me play oliver twist so that if I stammered, it would appear to be part of my script! So much so that everytime I had to make a little speech or presentation in class, I would end up making such a sorry spectacle of myself that I could see the sympathetic look on every face. The look that says, "Poor guy. Such a bright, intelligent chap. But God gives and God takes. He can't speak for nuts." Well, to hell with that stereotype. I took it up as a challenge after one disastrous lecture on lasers that I delivered in ninth grade.

From then on, I attended classes on public speaking. I participated in activities that put me on stage. I started talking a little more, in general. And I listened to loads of advice.

Progress has been excruciatingly slow. If today, I can confidently hold my own in a conversation with any number of people of any age, no matter whether they are acquaintances or good friends or professors or relatives, it because I've worked hard to get here. Today I have as many good friends among girls as I do with guys. Today I can choose to be witty and charming (as far as my limited social abilities allow me) when in a gathering, though I may not be so simply because I feel it's a little hypocritical.

The reason I am talking about all this now is because I went on stage yesterday for a panel discussion with a few other students and professors, plus a sizeable (>40) audience, and I did not stammer once. I was easy, comfortable, composed and confident. Never mind how mundane the topic ("Generation Gap"). Never mind the familiarity of my friends and good old CLT. I've never behaved this naturally on stage in my life. In a sense I feel that I have reached one little milestone in my journey.

What is next?

Cheers,
Prashanth.