When Tipsy expressed her surprise that I don't smoke or drink in spite of 5 years in a hostel (that too in an IIT!!), I must admit that what I felt was not pride for myself but shame for the rest of the world.
Important note: I'm not an orthodox thair-sadham-bred brahmin like Jaydee, who positively flipped out when he saw some hundreds of students, including many of his friends whom he thought above reproach, getting drunk together late in the night on our annual hostel day celebrations. The point is that I don't really consider smoking and drinking (or even dope) as major sins, as long as one does it because he/she WANTS to, and does it with a sense of control and moderation. If a person feels ashamed of it, or finds it affecting his life adversely, but continues simply from addiction then he earns my disgust.
No, what I do find sad is that people take it for granted that in certain environments, EVERYBODY starts doing these things. Peer pressure? Temptation? All reasons sound ridiculous to me, but nevertheless, it is true that these are indeed the reasons why people adopt these vices. And that I find really pathetic.
To me, alcohol is to be avoided because I treasure my precious brain and hate to allow any artifiicial things to affect it's functioning. That's why I even avoid caffeine in all its forms: coffee, aerated drinks, etc. Besides, if I don't enjoy it, and I know it's harmful anyway, why take it? I hate cigarette smoke as well, but I've been forced to be tolerant because some of my friends do smoke.
I don't think any less of those people who've tried smoking or drinking and perhaps overdid it at some point, as long as they learnt their lesson after that. I know people who only drink socially and in moderation; who smoke occassionally to relieve stress but never chain-smoke; etc. As long as you are responsible about your vice, it is ok, because it's not much worse than being a coffee or chocolate addict. But if you can't be the master of your own body and mind, you lose your health as well as the respect of those around you.
Cheers,
Prashanth.
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I agree with your idea that addiction in itself is the vice and what it is that you are addicted to is immaterial.
btw, i feel the same shame when i feel surprised at knowing that a guy doesn't smoke or booze. I guess these are some standard addictions that have become too prevalet these days.
Nooooo! No! No! NO! Hey, gimme a break here! I flipped out on the occasion of the hostel nite simply because I hadn't seen anything like that ever before, even in my wildest dreams...
And it's not that I'm not talking to my friends who booze or smoke or anything... It's just that if they light up a cigarette in front of me, I'd ask them to smoke later because I can't stand the smell...
And, ahem... I'm not a brahmin! You can't even call me a proper Hindu... I don't mind eating beef and all that... To venture further down this side-road of thought, if you ask me, people are brahmins and non-brahmins and vegetarians and meat-eaters simply because their parents were so before them, and not because they really feel strongly about the subject and all... Well, atleast most of the time...
Anyways, thanks for the mention... :)
Agree wih JD there. Whenever someone asks me why i am a vegetarian, my reply is "Habit".
and yes, thanks for the mention. next time put hyperlinks to our blogs ;)
hey wait a sec...
what do u mean when you say:
"I'm not an orthodox thair-sadham-bred brahmin"...
weren't you this orthodox, TUPPERwearing, water-bottle haging ghee-rice-thair-sadam-eating, chamatthu kind? ;).
Hey people, whats all this about veg and non veg doing here??!! I only said the thair sadam bit to emphasize on the fact that our parent-built sense of "values" and "right and wrong" can make us quite closed minded at times, bringing out such auto-reactions. We really need to learn to judge things for ourselves.
Kripa! Long time :) And... well... good little chamaththu SP got left behind in the school days. Sob. I will miss him!
Prashanth just a little query: isn't drinking socially==giving company to those who are drinking==herd mentality and therefore peer pressure. I mean I really don't understand the concept of socially drinking, if those around can't respect ur teetotalism, there is no need to join them, anyway.
A vice is a vice simply because it ruins your health and moderating it implies that you are ready to kill yourself in parts, what kind of a justification is that?
I second what Kirthi says.
And about our parent's opinions influencing us, I don't think that really applies to me, atleast. I'll never smoke, booze or dope, but, on the other hand, I do so many other things that my parents don't really endorse - like growing a beard, and not cutting my hair in time now and then - because I know that these are harmless things... And, if I have to, I'm sure I can make my parents look at it the same way, too...
I meant social drinking in the sense, drinking at parties, restaurants, etc. It's not about peer pressure but relaxing in the company of friends or relatives. On the other hand, drinking alone because you are depressed or angry is not ok in my book. And of course you don't have to drink just because others do, it is perfectly acceptable to have something non-alcoholic on these occasions.
I am not justifying the "moderation" thing in the absolute sense... I'm saying that just like aerated drinks, coffee, and n other things that are harmful for you, so is drinking. And just as you would agree that it's not going to do much harm to have a coke once in a while, so it is with alcohol.
Jaydee, I'm victimizing you in particular :) I'm just talking about people in general... I thought you would be a valid example to quote here, but sorry if I wasn't bang on target... don't take it so personally :)
Did you mean to say you were NOT victimizing me in particular? Or did you mean what you said?
Never mind anyway...
Good and Evil are but points of view..
Eh? I am even more confused now! I thought ur post says that u support those who smoke/drink to relieve stress and now u say that smoking and drinking because one is peeved and frustrated is "not ok in your book". Can we have one unequivocal view from u?
Moreover, what exactly justifies the vice especially when others are made to passive smoke when they don't really want to be party to something like that?
In fact if u notice there is this concept of "giving company" to someone who indulges in a vice like smoking/drinking and even eating non-vegetarian food. Why don't you need company to be vegan/teetotaler/non-smoker?
If you feel that much remorse and shame of having to do it alone and want someone else to be your accomplice then you might as well give it up right?
Great! Now non-veg food is a vice?!?
Oops sorry JD!! I meant that I'm NOT victimizing you in particular.
Kirthi, as usual you didn't understand what I said... maybe we can talk about this the next time we chat.
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