It's the beginning of a new semester, and I'm struck with the usual case of the blues. I caught myself blathering drowsily to my labmates that I've been studying for 3 + 12 + 5 + 1 (kindergarten, school, college, doctorate) = 21 years already and there's still no end in sight to lectures and exams. It so happens that all of those people are senior to me, so they took my raving with a pinch of salt and an air of amused tolerance.
The start of a semester serves as an ungentle reminder of what a big commitment a Ph.D. is. But there are a lot of other commitments that we make, every day of our lives. One of the few regrets of my childhood is the fact that I sometimes did not finish what I started. Little things, like sloka recitation contests, science workshops, radio plays... I would start with good intentions, but quit before completing what I set out to do. I allowed myself to be daunted by scope or defeated by my fears. I guess it's all part of growing up, that we learn to be more responsible as time goes by, but old failures always rankle.
At this stage of my life, I treat every undertaking with the philosophy of "In for a penny, in for a pound." That makes me more responsible, but also more dangerous to myself. My conscience is happier... but is my life happier? Perhaps, in the long run, it will be. Hopefully.
Cheers,
Prashanth.
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4 comments:
Oye Kiddo ..here take take lollypop..wonder what its called in US ,,,candy ??
~btw, its not just your labmates at the receiving end of your 21 yr tirade..;)..
~dont think so much and over analyze...just be :)..
~You have enough school work to keep your mind gainfully employed..
Alraqs,
So, basically you're saying, chill dude and worry about your nose instead of your foot when you're putting the nose to the grinding stone...
Screw you dude. You are in school. Have fun! Its not like you have to be up at 7 in the morning and trudge to work?
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