Capitalist Conspiracies

My best friend and partner-in-crime is a staunch capitalist. If someone called him a capitalist pig (which he is), he would probably blush at the compliment. I guess some of his opinions must have rubbed off on me, for I went from "no-opinion-on-any-economic-or-political-topic" to "hurray for capitalism". And I didn't even have to read Ayn Rand to come to that stage.

The beauty of capitalism is that it works with less rules than any other economic system, and still works better than them. The capitalist influence invades the economic, political and social structure of any nation that embraces it. Or even of those that don't - the erstwhile Soviet Union, for example. And it's all based on human nature. For all the talk of Nash equilibria and such jargon, capitalism is a pretty simple thing to understand and harness: figure out the best way to make money, and everybody wins.

In fact, I used to love the sweet ironies of the so-called capitalist conspiracies. Take for example, Mother's Day. It's such a blatantly fabricated excuse for some businesses to make more money. I mean, if you love your Mom and want to show your appreciation, you can do it at any time and in any way. Why does there have to be a Mother's Day? Every day ought to be Mother's Day. However, the arrangement works out much better than it has the right to. Mothers are happy with the gifts and the wishes and the appreciation... besides the fact that they don't have to cook that evening. Fathers and children and glad for the respite from nagging. The greeting card companies, department stores, florists and restauranteurs make money, as do all the related businesses. It's a chain reaction of happiness! And how did it start? With an eminently capitalistic idea, that nobody cares to challenge because everyone is happy with it, even if it doesn't make sense.

Which brings us to the reason for this topic. Valentine's Day. That, to me, is the granddaddy of all capitalist conspiracies. The guys get an excuse to ask out girls they normally wouldn't have the guts to. The girls get flowers, chocolates and superb food - all for free. If they're lucky, they even get some romantic poetry. A ton of businesses make money and everyone is happy. Except for people like me who have nobody to go out with and hence sit at home watching TV. I mean, it ought to be no different from any other day, because the things you do on Valentine's Day you can do on any other day. But the capitalists created it, and it makes some people feel miserable simply because everyone else isn't. Oh, that sort of thing, by the way, is the root of most evil and grief in the world, but thats a topic for another day.

Darned Capitalist Pigs. Grrrrr.

Cheers,
Prashanth.