Saturday, May 20, 2006

From the Outside

For all the 22 years of my life that I was in India, reading about the Kargil War, the Parliament attack, the Kashmir situation, the Pokhran-II blasts and subsequent sanctions, the joint military exercises between India and other countries, international arms sales and treaties, India's position in the UN, etc. they never sunk in beyond the skin level. We are aware of the facts; we have a half-formed opinion; but we have our own lives to lead, and we don't really think in depth on these issues, even though we are Indian to the core.

Step outside India and you start seeing everything differently. Things that seemed insignificant earlier, appear more important when you look at them from the outside. As the sole Asian in my bridge club, let alone Indian, I get asked a lot of questions about India. Things that nobody have asked me before because it was either obvious or unimportant for our everyday life... but now that I'm forced to think about them and give facts as well as opinion, those same things appear far from obvious or unimportant.

For example:

- What is the attitude of the average Indian towards Islam?
I said that there are a lot of Muslims in India, and they are very much part of our culture. We don't have a positive or negative attitude towards Islam, because it is already part of us, and we cannot judge it like it is an external thing. But the Muslims in India are happy with us, and we Hindus are happy with them; except for the odd sparks.

- How do you, and Indians in general, view the US?
I thought it best to restrict myself to politics. So I said that in the past, there was some friction because the US tended to support Pakistan over India in most disputes or issues - Russia was usually our saviour. But after the events of 9/11, things are looking up, as the USA seems to understand our situation better. The average Indian most definitely holds no rancour towards the US.

- You don't drink? Is it a religious thing?
I talked about the fact that I'm from an orthodox family in an orthodox part of India; religion does not enter the picture. I don't smoke or drink because my family expects me not to, and I am perfectly happy with that. Society, as a whole, considers these as vices, though not so much in recent days.

- You want me to roll up the windows entirely before we get out? I thought it would get a little too warm.
This was when we were stopping for lunch and I reminded my friend to roll up the windows completely before we went in to eat. This brought up the issue of crime levels, as I seemed quite horrified that she would do such a thing. I said wryly that where I come from, if you left your windows half open and left for half an hour, you won't find your car when you come back. Then I corrected myself and said that it was probably only because I lived in a large city. Just like State College has very low crime levels, but surely nobody would do such a thing in a city like New York.

And so on and so forth. One might remark that such questions/incidents are common and inevitable for an Indian living in the US; but the thing is, the mere act of thinking about some things and forming an opinion, puts them in a new light and underlines their importance which I scarce realized at one point of time.

Yet another thing I observed is that none of the students have ever asked me such questions. Come to think of it, I don't ask my international friends about issues concerning their country. Why are we youngsters so self-absorbed? It isn't enough to think about and talk about the here and the now; we really should be more thoughtful, more inquisitive about things that may not concern us directly. We should be more aware of the bigger picture, and think about where we stand. It feels less human to do otherwise.

Cheers,
Prashanth.

15 comments:

Artful Badger said...

Hmm..
Actually there are a lot of other things.
The Social System. As difficult as it is for US to accept the system in the US, they cannot believe that the Indian system 'is like that'...
e.g. Family
It is normal for an Indian to live with his/her parents. Here, it is the norm for you to move out. Living with your parents beyond the age of 22 or so is a no no.
Choosing life partner.
Attitudes towards money and life..

Artful Badger said...

They accept diversity.
But, there is a lot of difference between the cultures.

Kirthi said...

Ahh that reminds me of the time I tried to explain to my Aussie manager why I am a vegetarian and don't drink.
He bought none of my arguments and said I eat murdered potatoes. I thought it prudent not to argue with a client of my firm, also given the fact that he was drunk.

I also remember the number of times the London blasts were replayed on BBC to emphasize the "terrorism" wrought by the Muslims. And through the entire period that I stayed there, there was just one incident of violence in which a woman inspector Sharon Beshinevsky was shot at Bradford (gosh they replayed it so many times in a month that I even remember her name). And here, there hasn't been a day that has passed without someone getting shot in Kashmir.
Interestingly a colleague of mine who wore salwar kameez frequently was accosted twice on the streets by strangers who thought she was a Muslim. She was even asked if her religion taught her violence. I shudder to think what pacifist Muslims undergo in foreign countries.

Divster said...

Well..with 13 yrs of experience outside India..I have a couple of remarks to add to the on-going discussion.

First, the list of questions you mentioned..Prashu are a very small preview. There's plenty more, as you might know.
-One being that "I heard women have to die once the husband dies is it true?"
-and "Do you not touch others from lower-income society? That's so mean..U should be ashamed of yourself"

My answer is.. i heard that ur ancient ppl used to eat other humans and roast them alive? like cannibals and tribals? R u goinna have me for lunch then?

-One intersting question posed by mY American history proffessor (who has obviously watched enough of discovery n national geographic). He asked "why do Indian men wear diapers?"
I was puzzled and said "whaa?" And he goes.."oh you know that longg white cloth thats sorroundingg this old man.. like I saw in some village in India"
For a 15 yr old in an American high school, being posed such a question with your classmates smirking in the background can be real.. embarassing. But, if you're smart enough, you can get away with dodging most of the questions. Thankfully for me the Bell rang, and Ppl escaped the wrath of some 'serious explaining' on how "dhoti" is a traditional cotton dress thats comfortable for our over-heated humid climates...

It's an endless story..From what I can suggest is..You can't entirely explain your culture to another person..because their frame of mind can't digest it all. But, forget not having answers to their questions..Make sure that you can possess or assimilate answers to your own questions. Then, dealing with others becomes far more easier. I wonder how ppl 'living in india' are enlightened about their own culture...

Born a Libran said...

The question I keep getting asked (in the recent past) is "Why am I a vegetarian? Did I become a vegetarian for religious reasons? Do I eat fish? Do I eat cheese? So I eat cheese and do not eat fish... Interesting..." For all that, I am a person who converted to vegetarianism because I got myself a fish bowl... And before you mock me, answer me as to why most people do not eat dogs.... And would they find it disgusting to eat a dog...

Prashanth said...

I was just trying to say that some of the questions on political, social and economic issues concerning India and Her place in the world made me think, in a way that regular life in India never did. I believe we miss a lot in not doing that thinking.

The cultural differences are a different matter altogether. Granted, all these things are tied in through our identity as Indians, and it is not always possible to separate them as political, social or cultural issues... but the point is, I don't want to talk about our differences... I know them, you know them, and we all know that most people do not know them and I think it is admirable that they want to know more about such things. It's the other things... our thoughts on world issues from an Indian standpoint, that I wanted to emphasize, because we do not pay them much heed while we are in India, and that is a bad thing.

alraqs said...

~ none of the students have ever asked me such questions...some of it has got to do with age...when younger, politics turned me off, but now its just the opposite...it really depends on the students/persons...a lot of students (not undergrads) are pretty interested in politics, and esp. that of india and china, seeing how they are climbing up the ladders...I'd never had as many q's as I did when sonia won the elections and put manmohan as PM...also, its like a mutual thing...if I ask them abt. their governor, they are sure to ask me about mine (correspondingly)...
~ and I do wholeheartedly agree, you need to expand, politically, culturally and how ever else...learning about things in other countries (which is SO easy here in the US), gives you a different perspective on your own...and I def. think that perspective is worthwhile to have, whether or not you subscribe to it...talking about it to ppl. without maybe the first hand experience you have also is interesting...
~hmmm, interesting you capitalized the h in her on your last comment...

Divster said...

One more InTeReStInG thing I would like to add..
My pakistani friend and I were exchanging information about each other's culture, when He promptly asked me..
"do you eat meat?"
I carefully replied "yes".
He said "but isnt it a sin to eat non-veg? I mean religiously wrong?"
I said "maybe so, but the reason behind being vegetarian is not of religion but its about the 'way of lifestyle' of our ancient folks. They were basically Farmers and lived for agriculture. Cows and buffalos provided them with milk and the necessary help in fields which makes them as equivalent to the Lord Himself for enabling a living. So, the custom prevailed and we pay homage to our ancient customs by respecting them."

Here comes the InTeReStInG Part..He said "so, it is considered a sin to eat cows and buffalos then havent u sinned now?"

I thought for a while...

Then i replied "Well, you see..its about paying homage to the age-old ancestral cows and buffalos who helped our old ancient indian civilzation. Now, since i respect our Indian customs, I don't eat non-veg in India. But, outside India I can eat non-veg because those animals didnt help out my ancestors :P Sooo, you see logically I havent done anything wrong"

He smirked and said.." tats a nice logic"

Artful Badger said...

Wow quite a profound discussion going on here...

Vc said...

Oye what is going on here? I go for a short vacation and you guys start smoking pot without me ?

Someone fil me a stick or a roll or watever its called.. psst Div whats going on.. and pass me the potato chips... where is sp ?

Prashanth said...

Alraqs,
Must have been a sudden surge of patriotism ;)

Divya,
Cows are holy to us for many reasons, but religion is separate from God; so you may have sinned as a Hindu but that doesn't make you less of a believer in God.

And as for the logic :D I would hate to be on the wrong side of a debate with you ;)

Vc,
Come come join in... where's kk?

Divster said...

@Vc
Potato chips..Couch potatoes ke liye mana hai! :p Banned !

Vc said...

Psst Did you notice that everytime Div starts with" one more interesting thing i would like to add" its usually 733 words.

A born a lib is talking abt veggies.. :) Kirthi will take your side. Sp don't worry i am on your side..Div where are you ? and che i joined late.. tell me when you talk about the evils of drinking..hic hic.. sigh* where am i?

Kirthi said...

SP,
Where's kk did u say??? Hello I left a comment here ages ago. Pattar pattar.

Bal,
You were on a roll mister, perhaps you should ask some of these guys why they don't eat say a human leg instead of a chicken leg. Don't get me started on vegetarianism.

Vc,
Aren't you tired of losing?

Sundeep said...

Interesting post,
In general, americans are rarely intolerant of diversity (their country wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for the various waves of immigration at different points of its history). However, they don't always make an attempt to understand other cultures. I'm sure they would find it very strange that you consider the opinion of your family so seriously. Sometimes they just cannot imagine any society or way of life other than their own. Old beliefs die hard unfortunately.

Their ignorance (here I refer to the ignorance of the majority) often means that they think of other people in terms of stereotypes (some of which I find either stupid or insulting or both). Before 9/11, they wouldn't have known anything about Islam at all. Now they think they know something about it but the truth is that they have created a new set of stereotypes. Of course, being in a university, you and I are in contact with the well educated and consequently less prejudiced portion of their population.

I often feel that we indians have very little in common with most americans in terms of our attitude and approach to various issues. These differences are more than skin deep (although probably not irreconcilable).