Talk to your neighbour

I'm normally a pretty quiet chap when I'm traveling alone - be it by bus, train or air. I assume that people like to sit back and relax, rather than be bothered by some random stranger sitting next to you. But times change, and I'm not averse to conversations with random people these days. On one of the flights I took to come to India this december, for instance, I had a somewhat unusual experience with my neighbour.

The woman sitting next to me introduced herself as I sat down, and even recognized the authors on the book I was reading (that's a rather unusual occurrence, given my reading taste), saying that she'd read some of their other books. Then we made small talk regarding where we live and what we do. She was returning to Naples for work, after spending two weeks with her family in the US for christmas. I noticed that she had difficulty keeping still: she would constantly tap her feet or stroke her hair or something like that. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she was high-strung, and was missing her cigarettes, which would normally relax her. She was afraid of flying, especially over water; and she'd had a rough week, including a close call in catching her flight.

I automatically went into lecture mode. I explained to her that flying was safer than driving, and flying over water was safer than flying over land. I scolded her for being a chain-smoker and a chain-drinker of coffee; I told her how both those things are extremely unhealthy and contribute to nervousness. I even told her about how Yoga and Meditation would provide a long-term solution in helping to relax.

Then I asked her why she was so nervous when she'd just finished a two week vacation at home. She grimaced and said that spending time at home was no vacation for her; and then she promptly broke into tears!

And so I found myself holding a weeping thirty year old stranger's hand, somewhere in the stratosphere over the atlantic ocean. To make her feel better, I told her some of my own troubles, ending with a philosophical "Everyone has problems: it's how we face them that's important."

We became more friendly over the rest of the flight, and we wore genuine smiles as we bade each other goodbye, knowing that we would never see each other again. I often wonder, if anything I said helped, or if she took it as the usual inscrutable eastern mumbo-jumbo. I like to think that I made a difference. Vain, I know.

Since then, I resolved to be less taciturn than my usual self while traveling. I think I made a friend on my flight back to the US, a computer science grad from bangalore. At the very least, I made one person's flight less lonely. That's the crux of it, isn't it? In the old days, I liked to be alone, and I assumed everyone felt the same way. These days, I don't mind being alone, but I've come to appreciate the value of good company.

May your future travels be less lonely. Talk to your neighbour!

Cheers,
Prashanth.