It was between classes and I was engaged in idle chatter with my classmates. I was talking to this married dude called Kevin and he was asking me where I'm from and how I like it here etcetera etcetera.
"Well, college and academics is great, it's life here in general that takes a little getting used to."
"Oh, so you're not find the courses difficult or anything?"
I laughed and said, "Oh yes, definitely no problems with courses."
I should have either destressed the "definitely" or shut up after that sentence or, preferably, both. Instead, I rambled on, "In fact, I hardly studied at all last semester and still got great grades."
Seeing the expression on Kevin's face, I tried to defuse things with, "Well, it's probably because the courses I chose were easy, I'm sure it wont be like that this semester."
He visibly brightened after that and said, "Oh! So what what courses did you choose last semester?"
"Er... Distributed Systems Control, Expert Systems, Supply Chain Engineering."
Actually, these are pretty non-standard courses and considered tough, so I realized I'd made another faux pas because Kevin's face just went even greener. Fortunately we were then interrupted by another classmate and the conversation changed topic.
Wonder how I could explain to Kevin that I've been coached and trained to the brink of insanity right from 8th standard to do better at academics, and an IIT is anyday tougher than PSU. In retrospect, it seems absurd that a "good student" such as I subjected myself to such incessant training. Then why is it that it seemed such a natural thing to do back in Chennai?
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret doing any of those things, they've made me who I am today and I even found them fun and challenging in a limited way. But looking at the American approach to life vis a vis the Indian way, I can't help but feel that it was overkill. There are so many other paths to the development of an individual leading to a more balanced outlook and skill set. Why this obsession with getting better marks and getting into an IIT and what not? In the end, is it all worth it? Who is to blame for the fact that I don't play any sports at all, outdoor or indoor? Should there be blame for it in the first place?
I don't have all the answers. I feel so much more thankful now that I did get into an IIT, so that hostel life could "cure" me and give me more exposure to life. I am even more grateful that I decided to come to the US and have all these great new experiences and insights into... well, life!
Still, I repeat, I don't have any regrets at all about my old life. Isn't that strange?
Cheers,
Prashanth.
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10 comments:
I think the key difference here is do you want to or do you have to.
If you worked 16 hours a day because you
wanted to get into iit..it's different from working 16 hours a day because someone wanted you to get into iit.
If you did it because of someone else or because of something else..there is a good chance you will resent it in the end.
If you are happy with your NEW LIFE, I see no reason why you should regret your OLD LIFE, because where you are at present and what you are doing now, primarily owes its existence to your OLD LIFE.
Hey, there's absolutely nothing strange about it!...YOu must be happy that you are one of those guys who has enjoyed life a lot despite any ccircumstance that u had to encounter!
You're all correct. You know, one day I would like to ask other people like me how they feel about this issue. I think I know how Ramani feels, so thats one down :)
HoH... where have you been? Good to see you again.
Vikram, hello and welcome.
Poor dear Kevin, my symapthies. There is nothing worse than being stuck in the same place with a qucik maths solving IITian brain! :) I speak with authority on that.
But really, its actually nice to know that you seem to be doing well and enjoying the expereinces, doesn't happen often enough... eventually one just starts working, persues the capitalist dream and gets oh-so-jaded.
3 cheers for SP ..
hic hic Hurrrrrrray .. hic hic ..
Don't say 'Trained', it reminds me of circus animal. Choose something else.
Smugbug,
Hey! Didn't expect to see you here. Start working, pursue the capitalist dream and get jaded?! Hmmm... is that what's happening to you?
Vc,
>:P
Ramani,
Hey, I really did feel a bit like I was jumping through hoops in class 12.
see.. apparently the way i look at it.. I think even if we plan our way to do things.. there is something that can change things at the last moment.. But eventually If you pursue with all the vigor.. u can get to where u want.. even if it isnt the decided path u had in mind!
Like for eg. im in a position where i dont know if i should thank or should regret.. what i have chosen.. because pros and cons are there anywhere u go. If u had started off in an american high school and went on to study... like how i have done.. your exposure will be the same perhaps.. but you wont be grasping the experiences in the same way!
Right now.. as the official Bridge master.. and an ex-IITian.. You have got such a strong base that many many crave for. Getting marks was such a helluva big drama.. yes true! But, remember that's life. We see many lose and many gain and its part of life. While i know many of my classmates who aspired to do something and when they couldnt they got depressed so easily. I think being an Indian makes u quite down-to-earth while dealin with failures and successes alike.
(all philosophically speakin.. pls forgive me for the long comment.. im freezing.. and i need to keep my hands warm.. sooo...) Hehe ;-)
No, that was a very nice comment :)
Talking about freezing... why isn't winter over yet?! Its *extremely* annoying.
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