It is said that a traumatic experience can change a person. I can attest to that now. In outlook, in attitude, in philosophy, in temperament, I am a different man from who I was last year.
That is one of the reasons I am looking forward to returning to the US, with this long hiatus drawing to a close. But even the other reasons are not that I will be returning to something familiar, but to something different. I am moving to a new apartment (No roommates! Finally, I will have a clean kitchen and a clutter-free home!), and there are some new directions to work on for my research. I guess there is something about new beginnings that lifts one's spirit.
Meanwhile, in Chennai, my home is being wiped clean of every trace of me. My old clothes have been donated, my footwear thrown away, my books put into cartons and stored in remote locations, my photograph on the wall of the living room pulled down; anything that yelled "Prashanth" has either been hidden away or thrown away. I don't even have my own room anymore. No, my parents aren't planning on selling me or anything, its just that I've spent five years in a hostel and two years in the US, and old things need to make space for new. It is all mildly depressing, but home is made of people, not things. So I'm fine with it. It reinforces the feeling that I am starting with a clean slate.
It has been a time of new beginnings for many of friends, too. Some are graduating with doctorates. Some are joining grad programs. Some are changing jobs. Some are getting married. And they are all excited about it.
Go and fetch your glass, for I want to raise a toast. To fresh starts. To new beginnings!
Cheers!
Prashanth.
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6 comments:
well-estabished rudimentary from life that dawns on each one of us, breathing afresh as we stand astounded at the seemingly pleasant curve throbbing with some unseen bitterness, life'd taken...
not so welcoming aspects, but personal grief, moments of anguish, sadness and loneliness, indeed, are more insightful than fleeting n ephemeral a sense of joy and happiness. the latter are so overwhelming that we forget the true selves...while the former, those heavy moments when our hearts throb with pain that's so unique to us, we realise how strong n well-grounded we can be,we smile at us for that surprise tucked in our closets,our eyes glow with soft warmth....I call this a huggable melancholy!
...night reunites the house and its silence
from the foundations up
to the still flower
only the ticking of time's clock is heard.....stillness
Fresh beginnings, as u said, give us that much-needed facelift, a new challenge body surges for, newer set of situations to relook at the past (new windowsill you lean against to take a jog through the memory lane..)..'s such a sheer excitement, everything looks anew, afresh n lighter....guess, this is a highly complex equation life offers each one of us and it's upto us to stay weighed down or to remain buoyant.. the beauty lies in the fact that we slip back to quiver about those moments of loneliness at times....I personally feel, the moments of anguish n loneliness define n reinforce the elegance layers over us!
Hic! Here's to a great year..
Btw- I know the depressing feeling of not having your own room in the house - my parents converted mine into the guest bedroom.. sigh..
Jyo,
I just love your long comments :). Thank you for those words!
Sakshi,
Sigh indeed.
Here's to new beginnings that will have happier endings! *clink*
to the new beginnings and happy yrs ahead!!
Terra, Sushama: Cheers!
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