Chauvinists?

I would have gladly ignored the comments on the previous post and proceeded to talk about some entirely different topic; but then I read this post on Divya's blog and it sparked off memories of past conversations with girls. What I have to say here is on somewhat different lines, though.

I cannot claim to understand women. Do you think I am saying it because it is something every man has attempted since creation and not been succesful at? No. I say it because it implicitly stereotypes women. And minds are like snowflakes: for all the underlying similarities, no two are alike. In knowing one, you cannot claim to know any more by virtue of that knowledge.

Yet, after centuries of Indian culture and tradition imposed upon them, it seems to me that there seems to be some sort of consensus between women regarding the world around us, and towards men in general. It is so subtle, so tacit and implicit that no woman from another culture and no man at all can hope to understand it fully. But perhaps in the trying of that very understanding lies our salvation.

It seems to me that Men, by default, are guilty of Male Chauvinism in the eyes of women until proven innocent. Perhaps the degree of the initial "judgement" varies with the person; but most women start off by assuming that a man considers women to be inferior to men in some way. After careful consideration I have come to believe that the statistics prove this to be the correct assumption. There is no harm in saying that women are physically weaker than men, because it seems to me plain fact. Here I support the army generals who oppose the creation of female squadrons, because it often results in a relaxing of physical standards and leaves them with a smaller chance of survival on even ground with men in a true battle.

However, I think most men also feel that women are intellectually inferior, and this I oppose. While I was growing up in school, I topped the class "because of my intelligence", but if a girl topped a test it was "because she is good at mugging and remembering". As a child I grew up to believe it as irrefutable, universal truth. Fortunately, there was some truth in me being intelligent and I gradually learnt to judge people impartially. But how many boys grew out of it as completely as I did?

The t-shirt of the girls' hostel in my college read "The world is unfair. In our favour." Most women become indignant at the hint of allegation that they did not deserve to reach the position they did. But among men, it is commonplace knowledge that it is easier for a woman to get a job than a man with the same qualifications. Or an admit to a reputed university. Or that nice project that will make a vital addition to your resume. Here I do not disagree. Usually the reason is as simple as the fact that the ratio of men to women at a workplace or university must be maintained at a optimum level, and there are always a lot more men applying than women.

But this is not because women are intellectually inferior in any way to men, but because of a simple lack of equal opportunity. In principle, there may be equal opportunity for all who apply to a job. But think about the underlying social structure. Don't you agree that a person from a poor family finds it difficult to obtain resources for his own growth? Obviously those who have little money do not have equal opportunity as the relatively well off. The next time someone tells you that the IIT-JEE is a purely merit-based exam, remind him that a less intelligent person may get in thanks to better training facilities available to him, and like all exams, preparation is as vital as basic intelligence.

In the same way, women are expected to do certain duties. They must learn to be good housekeepers. And cooks. And raise the children. And a lot of other things. It may seem to be a fair division of labour for the men to go to work everyday and come back exhausted and find that their house is clean, the children are taken care of, and there is good, warm food on the table. But who made the decision for that particular division of labour? Not the women.

Yet another factor is simply in the basic predilections of people. It occurs to me that the reason why there so few women in fields like engineering is simply because they prefer something else. Arts. Music. Literature. The fairer sex find different things interesting than us men. Unfortunately, in India, such things are disdainfully considered as less than appropriate professions. Hence, there seem to be less women around in the professional circles.

Do read this post of mine. The invisible weight of centuries of custom and tradition bends today's woman into continuing to give priority to housekeeping rather than professional life. For if they do not take care of the home and children, who will?

Yet, change augurs a better future. In the past, women might have been considered more as objects than people. But every successive generation is more open minded than the previous. If today, I swear that I will try to share the cooking duties equally with my wife, tomorrow a man might say, "Wife! You go to office. I will do a part time job and raise the kids."

Well, maybe not tomorrow, but perhaps some day!

Cheers,
Prashanth.