The Self-Actualization Conundrum

The Maslow Hierarchy of Needs for job satisfaction is this interesting theory that in every job, there is a hierarchy of things that one requires in order to be happy. The factors at the higher level contribute to your happiness only if the ones at the lower level are met. For example, if you don't have a decent-sized cubicle or palatable food, you're going to be unhappy even if you have that cool insurance policy. The theory says that after you have your physiological, safety, emotional and esteem-related needs met, the final thing you need to be really happy is: Self-Actualization.

Self-actualization is a nice polysyllabled word, you say, and people like bandying it around, but what does it really mean? Well, the dictionary defines it simply as:

"To develop or achieve one's full potential."

And I think we need waste no more words trying to look for more in-depth definitions, but try to understand the repercussions of the above definition in the atmosphere of a job. If you think on it awhile, you will hopefully come to the same conclusion as I - that most people do not really feel happy unless they're constantly learning, growing, stretching themselves, trying new things, challenging themselves. Monotony may be comfort in the short run; we all have a natural resistance to change; but in the long run, you will be happy only when you keep exceeding your own boundaries.

These are the things that went through my mind when I came to the startling realization that I seem to be consistently choosing near-disastrously difficult projects for myself. Why on Earth can't I be happy with doing what regular people do and collecting my 'A' grade? Why do I have to make things harder for myself, take triple the amount of time and suffer triple the tension, in doing something that may or may not work, for an uncertain grade? I guess part of the answer lies in what I've been saying about self-actualization. I'm human. I need a new challenge every week in order to be happy.

I may crib and complain about how much time such work takes, and how boring it is to spend all my time in my office, but still I do what I do out of choice. I'm no masochist. I guess I really do love my work. What does that make me?